STRAIGHT UP FROM SHAUNTI FELDHAHN

For Men Only / For Women Only
May 1-2 at Calvary Church

In May, Calvary Church will host NY Times best-selling authors, Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn for a special For Men Only / For Women Only joint conferences. Their books of the same name have provided the basis of a nation-wide speaking ministry for couples, singles, and young adults.

How did your idea for the FOR WOMEN ONLY / FOR MEN ONLY books originate?

SHAUNTI: It all started when I was just writing my last novel ("The Lights of Tenth Street") and trying to figure out what my main male character would be thinking in his various scenes.  So I would talk to a few men that I knew and describe a particular scene and ask “what would you as a guy be thinking in this situation?” I found myself so surprised by what they were saying that I did more and more digging, and eventually realized this couldn’t stop with just creating a character in a novel.

How do you conduct your research?

SHAUNTI: I do almost entirely primary research. I ended up talking to hundreds of men—the guys behind the counter at Starbucks or the security guard at Costco, or the poor guy trapped next to me on the airplane for two hours. Then I hire a professional survey company to do a scientific national survey to test what I’m discovering—so I can know for sure where I can make these claims with confidence.

What was one of your most surprising findings?

SHAUNTI: Over 1,500 men provided input for the book For Women Only, and I realized what I was hearing from most of them was a very different view on what made them feel loved. Believe it or not, a man can’t feel that his wife or girlfriend loves him, unless he feels that she respects him and trusts him first and foremost...That is incredibly powerful to a man - that is their equivalent of walking in the door and seeing a dozen roses in the kitchen! We tend to secretly think that we women are the ones who have the relationship skills and that “he just has to learn to relate better.” But what I realized is that the way that men are wired to relate is totally legitimate! 

What do you hope people will take away from these conferences?

SHAUNTI: My hope is that these findings will help each of us as women see all the areas in which our men are so much more vulnerable than we ever realized, and how much power we have to either build them up or, unfortunately, to tear them down.  Knowledge really is power, and once we have these simple little pieces of knowledge, it makes such a huge difference to helping our relationship be the strong, loving connection that we always wanted it to be.

This weekend is your last chance to sign up for the FOR MEN ONLY and FOR WOMEN ONLY conferences. Register at the table in the courtyard.

More about the FOR MEN ONLY / FOR WOMEN ONLY Conferences >